God’s Voice Within: John’s Reflection I

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I’ve always been fascinated by the will of God, if there is such a thing, and how it seems so easy to discern for some people. Or maybe they’re just crazy people who like to fantasize.

Due to this interest, I’m now reading a book that has a fascinating and useful take on this “will of God” thing. The book is called God’s Voice Within. It has a Christian perspective that is applicable to anyone in everyday life, with or without the Christian underpinnings.

 

What is the will of God?

I was once talking to a pastor friend who is a really smart guy. He asked me if I could have anything in the world, what would I want from God.

I told him, “I’d like to know the will of God for my life.”

He laughed. I was serious. What’s my purpose? Why am I here? Am I just an ant on this colony called Earth? Was I born for a reason, and if so, what is it? I’d like to know the answer to these pesky questions, okay? I’d like to use my life to complete my mission.

It seems to me that so many people talk about their struggle to FOLLOW the will of God. Well, I envy them. I’d follow the will of God if only I knew it.

Some people evidently think they actually know God’s will as fact. I’ve never been so sure. I’m more like the guy living in a fog and trying to figure out what’s outside this cloud.

 

Is feedback from the universe real?

In everyday life, it seems we get feedback from the Universe when we are on the right path. We’re told that things get easier. We get little wins. God gives us bread crumbs that we can follow along the right path.

I kind of believe this, which means I also kind of don’t know if that simple idea is just nonsensical. Am I making meaning of life with my imagination?

For example, I’ve spent the past two days with some serious feedback from the Universe. If I paid attention, it would be clear to me that God is not in favor of my quest to explore Lake Norman on a jetski during a vacation.

The message would be loud and clear for those who believe in external feedback. First, the trailer wouldn’t work to transport the jetski. New ball bearings were needed. I paid to fix the trailer and hauled it 400 miles.

At the lake, the jetski started on the trailer. I drove it to the boat ramp. It started but then stalled 100 yards away on the test drive. I tied a rope around my waist, attached it to the jetski, and swam it back to shore.

A change of plans was adopted. On this first day of my family vacation, I siphoned out the old gas, old-fashioned style—literally sucked on a clear tube until gas was pouring through it. That method ultimately didn’t work, and yes, I got a delicious taste of gasoline.

I then bought a cheap siphon at an auto parts store. Didn’t work. I bought an expensive siphon at an auto parts store. Worked well enough to get half the old gas out, and after an hour, I finally said the hell with it. I added new gas to the old gas.

I’ll make this story short, since the will of God was pretty relentless about preventing me from using a jetski on Lake Norman for my family vacation.

The feedback from the Universe continued. With new gas mixed with old gas, the jetski started. I drove it to the boat ramp, launched it again, and a minute later, swam a dead jetski back to shore. Ugh. What does this mean, God? Just give me a sign. Any sign.

I next pulled the battery, took it to an auto store, and charged it overnight. The following day, the jetski started vigorously on the trailer. Perfect. I took it to the boat ramp, launched it again, rode it 100 yards out until the engine stalled. I again swam it back to shore and put it on the trailer.

 

I’m waiting for a sign, God.

By this time, the old John would have gone into a spasm of profanity, but this didn’t seem wise since I was reading a book called God’s Voice Within.

The book suggests that the feedback we’re really seeking—the will of God?—is not so much about what’s happening outside of us, but more about the inner experience that’s happening inside of us when we are facing the inevitable obstacles and victories in our daily lives. The jetski debacle was frustrating, irritating, time-consuming, and maddening, but it was a privileged problem at worst.

If my biggest problem was putting a toy on a lake, of course, I had a pretty good life at the moment.

I also realized that under the surface level of agitation, I felt a sense of peace that was not the same as “a lack of stress.” It was deeper than no stress, comfort, or ease. This feeling or sense is what the book suggests we look for in the depths of our souls. The feedback is within. Do we feel peace or disquiet—love that term—underneath the more superficial and normal human emotions? Be still and know.

I next called around for repairmen to help me. The big break came from a guy who took my call on a Sunday. His shop was full, so he couldn’t help in person. But he spent 20 minutes on the phone without thought of his own time and suggested the next step would be changing spark plugs.

Long story short, that’s not an easy thing to do with a jetski. I bought tools, figured it out, tore apart covers, and changed three hidden spark plugs.

This time the engine started at the boat ramp, it didn’t stall on the water, and I opened it up to full speed to celebrate. I went under a bridge going 50 mph, thanking God, when the lake police pulled me over—in the first minute on the lake! I learned that on Lake Norman, the rule is that bridges are considered no-wake zones.

It seemed the feedback from God was to go slow under bridges.

The lake cops were good guys. They just gave me a warning, as I played the role of an “old guy on a new lake” to perfection. But what’s the point?

If I looked externally for the will of God in this small series of events, I surely would infer that my family vacation was not meant to have a jetski in the picture. But if I looked internally for the will of God, I saw an opposite reality.

When I closed my eyes and searched deeply inside whether to try to revive the dead jetski, there was no inner sign to stop. I was okay inside, peaceful in a place far below the surface hassle and inconvenience.

 

The real feedback is deep.

And so too is the will of God, maybe. At least this inner peace should be part of the equation, right? When we’re beating our head against a wall—or a jetski—and we sense a deeper disquiet, that may be a sign to let go and relax.

Maybe in all decisions we need to spend more time attuning to something deeply under the surface of our minds and emotions. Maybe we need to live in that space.

And maybe the will of God is in the inner green lights and red lights that don’t shine too brightly until we go deeper. Maybe these dim lights in the depths could be the guidance for those of us who don’t say things like, “God told me this, or that, or the other thing.”

I recently read a sentence that resonated with me. It is a one-liner about God that comes from the mystic St. Augustine.

“You are closer to me than I am to myself.” WOW. What would he say about us in this age of distraction?

Is it possible that going within as a daily practice may be the exercise of getting to know the will of God? Is contemplative prayer or meditation the discipline that cultivates attunement?

Speaking of attuning to the voice within, I’m considering adding these “reflections” as content on the Wealthy Bookheads. I’m on a vacation, right? It’s the perfect situation to consider such things in uncompressed moments.

Of course, the vacation is not over yet, and I reserve the right to change my mind about God’s will for me this week.

If I get run over by a large boat while enjoying Lake Norman on my jetski, I’ll reconsider my view of this topic from a hospital bed. If I drive over a dam, get bit by a turtle, or break down three hours from my vacation rental, I’ll reevaluate the “inner compass” thing.

I’ll likely write a new story about how external events are the will of God, and why it’s important to trust this outer feedback over inner feelings that are so fickle and hard to discern.

But until then, I think this book I’m reading now, God’s Voice Within, is pretty great, but not for everyone.

See the interview in the Wealthy Bookheads library.

John